Tag Archives: friday fashion fail

Friday Fashion Fail: Fickle

11 Feb

Come on - you know you owned some JNCOs back in the day!

Sorry for the alliteration there in the title. I try to avoid those unless they are super clever as they usually come off sounding incredibly cheesy. Nevertheless, this one was a bit unavoidable considering how fitting it is. You see, fashion is audaciously fickle, encouraging us to embrace one trend to the next, without making any connection between the two. They often are actually polar opposites. And thus, we are instructed to throw away what we own and go out and buy more, only then to be hit with the same trend of the clothing we JUST threw away about one season (or sooner) less. It’s one of the reasons why I believe it’s better to invest in basics that work well for your body type, then accessorize in a more bold fashion. It doesn’t mean boring – it just means you spend a lot less annually on your wardrobe than the folks who are trend drones.

This month in the newest ridiculous trend being pushed on us: flared leg pants.

Remember when, just a few seasons ago, those were so OMG passe? What Not to Wear was instructing people to burn them, hipsters wouldn’t be caught dead in them, and every celebrity lamented how such jeans made their hips look big? Well now they’re back, as if the public’s hatred of them had never been uttered. It’s all a bit too 1984 with me; you know: a war with Oceania today and a peace treaty the next? Our fashion trends should not be as complicated (and, ironically, simultaneously fickle) as our politics, but it is all a part of the need to consume as consumer culture fuels a nation’s economy.

When I saw this message in my email box from Piperlime, I immediately started laughing:

O rly, Piperlime? I can’t LIVE without these jeans, that a mere 6 months ago I was instructed to relentlessly destroy and never look back? Plz.

I rather like these jeans, and felt betrayed and hurt when the industry dissed them, but luckily, skinny and wide leg trousers work for my body type. But I say don’t be fooled. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and that looks good on your body. Ignore these fools. Afterall, they are far too fickle.

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: WTForever21?

26 Nov

Just in time for Black Friday, the Superbowl of shopping days, I came across this site via Jezebel. It’s a lovely visual amalgamation of all the things I love to hate about Forever 21 (though, admittedly, they sometimes have really cute items, many of which I profile on this very site) called WTForever21?. On the site, they round up the fugliest finds from Forever 21 along with a litle commentary that’s worthy of a lot of laughs. Imagine Friday Fashion Fail, but focused on one store. Good luck staying away from the worst items profiled as you shop today.

Here’s a preview:

Crushed poop

I love rock of the 90′s.

But I hate the fashion.

 

ESPECIALLY the horrific crushed velvet blouse trend.

This monstrosity turns an otherwise very pretty girl into someone you’d be disappointed to sit next to on a plane because you know all they would want to do was talk about their coven and “The Goddess.”

Price: $19.80

Forever 21, WTF?

 

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Ug(g)ly

17 Sep

No. Just . . . no.

Emu Australia made a big, tall dud with this one.

Friday Fashion Fail: Sandal Assault

18 Jun

I am not big fan of summer, but I do rather enjoy summer shoes, particularly sandals. I think they often entail a lot of creativity to make them pop considering they are so simple in concept. In New York, wearing sandals is a bit of a risky venture, considering everything is so dirty that your soles are bound to be black by the end of the day and your pedicure is likely to be ruined as well.

Nevertheless, sandals are pretty to look at.

At least, MOST of the time.

Though sometimes, there are some seriously ugly sandals out there. Here are a few of the fuglies I’ve seen ad nauseum on the streets of Brooklyn (in all colors):

 

Taking lattice to a whole new level of busted:

Shrek much?

And one I hope NEVER to see in person.

Lastly, who said wearing sandals with socks was OK again?!?! or . . EVER?!?!?

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Frankenstein

28 May

If Frankenstein became a disco go-go dancer in a pre-historic club, this is what his shoes would look like. Why, Jeffrey Campbell, why?

Jeffrey Campbell "Roks" Wedge

The price? $148. The amount of money spent of hospital bills from falling in these suckers? $5000. The fact that NOT buying these can save you years of medical care and embarrassment? Priceless.

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Appropriated Racism

7 May

Prince Harry's Swastika Incident

If you want to be racist, great. I don’t mean to say that racism is great, but I suppose that’s the perogative of said possessor of racism, and in this free country, their right to express their racism is up to them. But one trend I have noticed and that I find particularly revolting is the appropriation of racist garb for the sake of being “hip.” While I recognize that the person wearing racist symbols may not be attempting to appear racist, that is clearly a) unknown to the onlooker, and b) pointless.

Much like the Nazi / Hitler / Swastika trend that landed in Japan a few years back, the rebel flag (aka “Confederate” flag) has come back full force, or at least for celebritante Peaches Geldof. Check out this pic that was featured on Jezebel recently:

Peaches Geldof

Hmmm…

I grew up in the South, where this flag can still be seen in the form of bumper stickers, patches on hats and backpacks, as well as t-shirts, though it has become less and less common (at least in public) over time. Some say it’s a sign of Southern heritage, but clearly, it’s a sign for a select group of people, none of them of color. The sign for tons of people, both Southern and otherwise, is one of hate, war, and domestic terrorism, the latter of which being the primary reason the KKK took it on.

What’s interesting about the Confederate flag in the United States, however, is that we are so desensitized to it that when some people see it, they think nothing of it, particularly in the South. Though for some, particularly much older black Southern people, I can imagine this symbol compels the same amount of fear and possibly even PTSD as, say, a swastika may affect a survivor of the Holocaust.

The bottom line is that while I am completely open to appropriation in fashion, recognizing that it happens all the time and that it’s quite frankly inevitable, this type of appropriation, one that involves using symbols of hate to make a fashion statement, is highly problematic, and trivializes the horrific experiences that may have been suffered by others solely for the sake of making a “statement.”

- Retail DJ

Too Crazy to Wait Until Friday: Vajazzling

12 Apr

"P*ssy Bling"??!?!

When I first saw the ad for this on facebook, I seriously thought it was some sort of joke. I thought wrong. It seemed humorous enough to qualify for a Friday Fashion Fail post, but I found it so absurd that I needed to talk about it NOW.

If you thought extreme wax jobs, piercings, and (on the extreme end) labia plastic surgery were out of the ordinary, you’ve seen nothin’ yet. Check out the new trend in nutso vaginal adornment: Vajazzling:

Some things just go together. Peanut butter and jelly. Zac Efron and hair products. Your vagina and Swarovski crystals.

Yes, you’ve read about it in blogs and saw Jennifer Love Hewitt gushing about it on late night. Let us assure you that whatever you want to call it – Vajazzling, Crystal Coochin’, or the hottest thing ever, the practice of having sparkling crystals adhered to your nether regions in place of pubic hair is a very real thing and is very, very popular.

And Brazil Bronze Glow Bar isn’t just jumping on the bling-bling beaver bandwagon. Not only have they been applying perfect tans for almost a decade, they’ve also been Vajazzling New Yorkers since 2002. Now, exclusively on Lifebooker Loot, we’re offering their dazzling skillz for only $17 (that’s 32% off the regular price of $25).

A quick rundown for those living under a rock: a “comprehensive” shave, or even better, a Brazilian, must be done ahead of time. We recommend you do it a day in advance, and get a great deal at one of Lifebooker’s top waxing spots.

Now that you’re smooth, you and a Brazil Bronze “Vajazzling Artist” will go over the possible designs – butterfly, dragon, and heart are just some of your options – and then comes the quick, completely painless application. Fifteen minutes later, you’ll have a beautiful piece of artwork on your body, and one hell of a conversation starter.

Some argue that Vajazzling is just an extension of the misogynistic want for sexualized women to look prepubescent. Others find having their nether regions (or their girlfriend’s nether regions) resemble a disco ball super sexy. No matter what your stance, we can all agree that nothing is more important than having the ability to choose what happens to your own hoo haa.

If want to do something new just for you, or give your lover a sexy surprise, this will sure do the trick. Grab this Loot now and rock out with your blinged out vag out!

Testimonials from Vajazzled Brazil Bronze Clients:

“I was a little nervous before my first Vajazzeling session. My Vajazzeling artist Klaudia could not have been nicer. I almost forgot she was doing her handiwork. I chose a delightful Swarovski flower and it stayed put for a week. I loved, and my boyfriend loved it. I will definitely do it again.” – Teresa Kliokis

“P*ssy bling rocks. I feel really sexy right now. I got a cute little dragonfly.” – Sally Giles

“It really enhances the beauty of a woman’s body, and we all know diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” – Sheila Boyle

If you find yourself saying WTF? as I am right now, we are reading the same article. I think this might also qualify as something I’d code as *youhavetoomuchmoneyforyourowndamngood*. Sigh.
- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: T-Shirts with “Strong Shoulders”

2 Apr

Shoulder pads were awesome back in the 40s and even a few choice moments in the 1980s. To be fair, they are even some cool moments in the sun that shoulder pads experienced in 2009. HOWEVER, t-shirts with shoulder pads are, quite frankly, hot little messes.In honor of the new launching of Apple’s iPad, a revolutionary computer gadget thing that is far out of my price range, I give you a pad that does nothing but set us back a few decades and make a lot of things just.plain.ugly when applied: the shoulder pad.

I recently went to H&M, where the racks upon racks and ugly, shoulder padded monstrosity screamed for acceptance. Most of these little fashion mishaps, in preparation for spring, had 3/4 length sleeves that are ROUCHED along with these ugly shoulder pads. I couldn’t handle it.

I went it on Shopstyle for more of this shoulder pad cum t-shirt madness and found that there was more ugliness where the H&M atrocity had come from:

What say you, Hunchback of Notre Dame?

Even the girl wearing this shirt looks upset. I imagine that she’s thinking, “Wow, finally got my big break in print modeling and they put me in this craptastic gear. Sigh.”

WTF is up with this Mad Max meets football field absurdity?

Just say no to shoulder pads, kids. Just Say No.

- Retail DJ

Why No Friday Fashion Fail?

6 Mar

This week, I didn’t post a Friday Fashion Fail because I haven’t come across anything as of late that has made me cringe that I haven’t already discussed. Though I must echo some of the sentiments expressed by a few of our guests and my friends: What’s Going On, New York?

NYC has become incredibly white bread fashion-wise. It’s still winter, which means there is plenty of cold left that fosters happy, colorful layering, well tailored suits, awesome coats, and the hottest of boots. There’s less of an opportunity for hair to frizz and for pretty silk tops to become the harbingers of sweat marks. There is still time left to reap the benefits of the cold, yet all I have seen as of late is boring grays, blacks, and browns (I say “boring” here because I think these colors can be majorly sassed up, particularly by way of unique cuts and jewelry, but people have been passing on the opportunity). I actually wore a hot pink dress to work a few days ago to brighten up the blah because I couldn’t take it anymore. It was part of an ensemble inspired by a 2007 Alexander McQueen show with punk-y colonialism as its focus.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have my boring days too, but to practically fall asleep as I pick out what to wear is not my thing. I like wearing conversation pieces or playing around with proportions, layers, etc. There seems to be so little of that these days, so mch so that I had resorted to taking certain train routes just to see a little bit more of an interesting crowd (though finally being back on the G and L lines in and out of Brooklyn helps that tremendously).

People shouldn’t have to be told what to wear, and the seasons should not dictate one’s style. Looking good is not contingent on weather, nor does it rely solely on what is available for purchase in the newest seasonal collection at stores. More people need to start thinking outside the box. This is NEW YORK for goodness sakes. I shouldn’t be stared at or fawned over for my choice of outrageous stockings. There was a time when that was the norm. What is happening?!?!

Sigh.

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: No, Rachel Zoe, No . . .

26 Feb

I was checking out piperlime.com the other day for black flats to feature in this week’s Get Dressed to This: Vintage Finds when I stumbled across a couple of Rachel Zoe picks that made my heart skip a beat. This momentary lapse in blood circulation was unfortunately not due to excitement. No, it was due to good old fashioned WTF? Check out these hideous shoe horrors they are trying to peddle to us:

ay meu Deus do ceu. SO UGLY. Say it with me, now, “No, Rachel Zoe, no.”

Or what about these? Are my shoes going to a funeral at a bordello? “No, Rachel Zoe, No.”

Speaking of houses of ill repute, I think that might be the only place these shoes would fly. “No, Rachel Zoe, No,”

Ok, let’s not pull a “Carrie Bradshaw” on our feet too. These are outdated, fugs, and I totally saw them at an outlet mall in Brazil for like $15. That $165 isn’t worth it, ladies, trust me. “No, Rachel Zoe, No.”

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Sonia Rykiel for H&M

19 Feb

I should preface this post by saying that the Sonia Rykiel collection for H&M, which premieres this Saturday, February 20th, is really cute. The color combinations are cool and the silhouettes are fun:  

promotional video:

New York Magazine Lookbook

That being said, everything else about it is . . . troubling. When I say that, I mean in the sense that I see it turning into all sorts of wrong once it’s been released to the masses. It’s a bit like communism–looks good on paper, but the application never runs quite as smooth as people had hoped.

The black overall-style jumpsuit: super cute, looks very comfy, but probably will be overdone, a bit like the jumpsuits that came out last summer and the summer before that. People will try to dress it up with heels, will wear it despite it not going well with their respective bodytypes, and I’m guessing I will see them more often than I’d like. I’m predicting fashion overkill.

The bedazzled sweaters  and leggings remind me of something elderly women would wear to Atlantic City on a holiday weekend. Nothing against folks in their geriatric golden years, but I think I will leave that look to them. They look good in it. People my age? Not so much.

see photo at right for rhinestone leggings:

These are just some quick reactions, but at the end, I also think the collection is best suited for people who are very thin. That actually might be my biggest criticism of the line. It’s not something that is universal . . . with the exception of a soft pink and black tiered ruffle dress, which would work on a variety of body types (see: 2:00)

This dress is the stand-out piece of the collection, most of which is a bit better for children or young teens, I think, than adults. Here are some of the humorous comments from New York Magazine’s The Cut:

“The redhead doesn’t help the fact that these already look like clown clothes.”
 
“It looks very Sonia Rykiel, but who can wear these pieces without looking crazy? Especially the loose fit paired with large stripes. It seems very hard to wear.”
 
“No like”
 
Sadly, I concur.

Friday Fashion Fail: Trying to Start Ish

12 Feb

Ok, so I am really liberal when it comes to fashion. I am not really for censoring it as I feel it’s a form of artistic expression. I get particularly frustrated when people try to put limits on what people should be allowed to wear in terms of symbolism and appropriation because, at the end of the day, everything we wear has been appropriated, either on purpose or not, at some point in time. There is also a great value in cultural exchange and the resulting effects that has on fashion, music, art, etc, and I would hate for censorship to somehow stifle that process.

BUT BUT BUT

I hate when people use fashion blatantly as a means of starting conflict and inducing possible shutdown of proper exchanges of ideas by way of controversy. Take, for example, the latest dot on the controversial fashion radar: the “Israeli ‘remix’” of the keffiyeh:

There is a great write-up of the controversy over the NYTimes blog The Lede (I found out about this by way of Emi K–shoutout!). No offense to the designers (and, I should add, I find it aesthetically pleasing), but I just feel like it’s an attempt to call for attention more than an organic fashion creation. What are your thoughts?

- Retail DJ

(Belated) Friday Fashion Fail: The Grammys

7 Feb

For whatever reason, the Friday Fashion Fail post totally slipped my mind (sorry y’all!), but here it is, for your viewing pleasure: a belated Friday Fashion Fail on, you guessed it, the Grammy Awards.

I know that there are countless sites that have already covered this and torn several celebrities a new one, but I think it’s important to recognize that most of the blame should fall on the stylists and the designers for a) having made/suggested such fugly clothes, and b) for pushing it onto the celebrities (albeit, often for free) as a means of cheap and easy promotion. The photos I decided to talk about were not THAT bad . . . it’s mainly a example of one or two things being off, which happens a lot of the time once clothing trends reach the masses (i.e. what we cover here). The beauty of the clothing gets cheapened by unnecessarily added details, unflattering cuts, or by way of being paired with shoes that just.don’t.match. With that said, here’s my take on some Grammy duds that could be saved with just a tweak or two:

Ke$ha:

Ke$ha

the problem: Clearly she took the money reference in her name a little too seriously and decided to go for a dress that looked like some attempt at Gatsby gone allll wrong. The dress makes her body look distorted by way of its cut.

the solution: This could have been better if the hem were less triangular. Given, the flapper look is super cliche, but if she wanted to do it, going with its classic straight-cut hem is better for the body. Also, those shoes should be burned and replaced by something closed-toed and more appropriate color-wise (the dark tone doesn’t work with the gold-toned dress)

Miley Cyrus:

Miley Cyrus

the problem: Seemingly yet another money reference, as this dress reminds me of a bunch of folded, tie-dyed bills. I think the biggest problem with this dress is the print, and of course, the cage shoes (which make everyone’s legs look strange).

the solution: a solid color, fewer horizontal line divisions, and basic heels.

 

 

 

Beyonce:

Beyonce

the problem: This one really plagued me because I actually really like the cut of this dress and think it’s flattering for Beyonce’s shape. The print, however, makes it look a bit too much like a wall tapestry or a rug. the front zipper also makes me think more track suit, less award gown.

the solution: If they were the keep the pattern, a darker color might be best (why is peach coming back?), but in a light color, the pattern needs to be nixed. The zipper seems like an afterthought, and the dress would look more elegant if its structured feel remained the same, though without the zipper. Also, B’s weave needs a tune-up, or at least they should dye her roots so that it doesn’t look like the thing it just sitting on top of her head.

Usher:

the problem: Too many patterns, too much shine. This suit hurts my eyes. It’s too busy in the pattern/detail department and needs to be toned down a bit.

the solution: He’s got polka dots, checks, black, white, gray, piping, shine, smooth, textured.. . AKA too much sh*t. This could be easily revolved by getting rid of the patterns, making the suit ONE color (minus all that white piping) and even by canning the vest. The cut of the suit also seems to distort his body shape. If more fitted, he would look like his normal dapper self.

 Britney Spears:

Britney Spears

the problem: She left her pants at home and decided a hair net would be the appropriate means of revolving this.

the solution: I like the sweetheart cut of the black top. If she had gotten rid of the black gauze, and put on some nice black or dark gray pants, she would have looked amazing.

 

 

 

  Coco Rocha (center):

the problem: She found her outfit in the costume closet for Broadway’s Beauty and the Beast (does this not look like a mix of the costumes for Lumiere, Belle, and the Beast?)

the solution: I actually love the color combination. If she simply got rid of the shoulder pads (seriously, WHY are they back…with a vengeance?) and possibly shortened the dress a bit, it would be really cute. sigh 

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Off the Fringe

29 Jan

No.

Unless you are planning on attending a cowboy convention, dressing as a carwash machine for Halloween, or trying out for the new cast of Fraggle Rock, you might want to ditch the fringe. I feel like I can hardly turn around without seeing it all over the web as some sort of fashion phenomenon; meanwhile, I (fortunately) rarely see it in person. Let’s do our best to keep it that way.

Have people forgotten about this?

If bordello trash chic didn’t work for Kate Hudson, how do you think it will look on the rest of us, Fashion Industry!??! Stupid, that’s what.

This shirt, which looks like something my cousin could have made in her preschool art class, is $200. Not.Even.Kidding. though I wish I were.

I am sure there are some people out there who, by golly, can pull it off, but then again, those people could probably pull off a paper sack and a goblin mask too. Let’s leave it to them, shall we?

Fraggle Rock-ready

Anyway, this is my plea for this God-awful trend to die. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Yup, still looks dumb.

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Kiss of Death + a Knightly Mix

22 Jan

Dear Fashion Industry,

Stop trying to make dark lipstick happen. It’s ugly. It’s not flattering on the majority of people who wear it, unless they, too, have very dark skin (and only then, in tones of raisin and dark brown does it look nice). If there is such an effort to get blonde women to wear lighter eyeshadow, then why this trend of adding a goth-like hue to the lips of the palefaces? It.just.looks.silly.

I remember when I was oh, say, 11 or 12, I had a thing for dark lipstick. Then I wore it once during a costume party when I dressed up as a devilish angel (don’t ask…rave gear was in style then too) at 14. Other than these choice angsty periods or parties, dark lipstick is a no no. In other words, it doesn’t belong on adults unless they’re working a pole or participating in some activity that involves making extensive purchases from Ricky’s (or maybe both?)

Why does the industry seem determined to encourage people to wear things that run counter to what makes them look their best? I am not one for fashion conformity, nor do I think there is no room for creativity in fashion; quite the opposite, actually. Though when over-exaggerated trends trickle down to the mind-numbed masses, the result is not good. We should dress what makes us look our best, what matches our respective body types, skin tones, and moods…not what some fashion magazine tells us is hot right now because some designer arbitrarily decided to test it out on his models after a bad, cocaine-induced dream.

Though speaking of making decisions, a loooong time ago a group of knights would get together at the roundtable and make all sorts of plans. Now they just make incredible music:

Roundtable Knights – Winter Mix 2010 (via Fartilizer)

tracklist:

Oy – Positivili
Die Vögel – Petardo
Solomun – Cloud Dancer
Ike – Diskadenz
Wareika – Mountain Ride
Patrick Kunkel, M.in – Frauen & Blumen feat. Harold Todd
Round Table Knights – Drop The Dow
Daniel Steinberg – Rush Me (author’s note: !!!!!!!!)
Coyu, Uner – Raw Sweat
Camel – Obrigado
Solo – Joga Bola (Round Table Knights Remix)
&Me – On
Jamie Anderson – Karimba
Precious System – Voice From Planet Love ( Dixon Chic-A-Go Edit)
Prosumer, Murat Tepeli – U&I feat Elif Bicer
Missing Linkx – Who To Call

Happy Friday.

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Ripped to $hred$

15 Jan

I have a love/hate relationship with Urban Outfitters. I like some of their stuff and many things that come from their sister companies Anthropologie and Free People. However, some of their business practices are less than cool, one of them being the excessive over-pricing even the simplest of their goods.

Case meet Point:

You know you live in an industrialized country when you have the privilege to pay a lot of money for a shirt that looks like you washed it in a tub of razorblades and bleach.

Many items at Urban Outfitters have this appearance, as do the items at several other ridiculously priced stores (like Abercrombie and Fitch…also accused of very bad and very racist business practices, among others).

I find this audacious display of fashion idiocy hilarious, particularly in light of recent reports that Urban Outfitters TRASHES its unsold wares. Is this some kind of marketing tool to reach their painfully ironic hipster market? Vom, much? Maybe they should just dig into their own back bins and save themselves some time.

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Stirrups and a Smalltown’s Best

8 Jan

For today’s Friday Fashion Fail, I am going to have to agree with LottieP over at Fragments, stirrup pants are indeed a “charmless garment.” It’s a fashion no-no from the 80s and early 90s that sprang up yet again in 2009, much to my horror. I hated them as a child, and hate them even more as an adult, on whom they do not belong. They look like some sort of accident, as in horseriding gear meets man. As Biggie would say, it’s “dead wrong.”

Fortunately, they seem to have lost their baggie quality and, with the help of modern lycra weaving techniques and good old spandex reliability, the stirrup part of the stirrup pant is more of an added extra, not really a total leg-shape and body form destroyer. Though, seeing them like this makes me wonder where is the functionality in that little loop after all?

The good news is that not all of 2009 is lost in this resurgence of a fashion uh oh. There’s always music to save the day. So if you’re a fan of stirrups or not, check out the Smalltown DJ’s Best of 09 mix. You will be dancing in the aisles and singing along hard enough to frighten some of the American Apparel salespeople.

Smalltown DJ’s Best of ’09 Mix

tracklist:

01) While you wait for the Others – Grizzly Bear feat. Michael Macdonald
02) Just ain’t Gonna Work Out – Mayer Hawthorne
03) Stillness is the Move – Solange Knowles
04) Dominoes – The Big Pink
05) Nothing to Worry About – Peter, Bjorn & John
06) No You Girls (Grizzl Remix) – Franz Ferdinand
07) So Insane – Discovery
08) The Sticky – Black Moth Super Rainbow
09) Lizstomania (Classixx Remix) – Phoenix
10) Psychic City – Yacht
11) Blood Bank (Skinny Friedman edit) – Bon Iver
12) Home – Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
13) Animal (Mark Ronson Remix) – Miike Snow
14) Shelter (Them Jeans Remix) – The XX
15) Cruel Intentions – Simian Mobile Disco feat. Beth Ditto
16) Walking on the Moon (U-Tern’s Kris Menace blend) – The Dream
17) Bulletproof – La Roux
18) One Life Stand – Hot Chip
19) Rain Dance – The Very Best feat. M.I.A.
20) You Got the Love (The XX Remix) – Florence & The Machine
21) Night by Night (Skream Remix) – Chromeo
22) Pursuit of Happiness – Kid Cudi feat Ratatat & MGMT

 

- Retail DJ

Friday Fashion Fail: Shoes That Make Me Suicidal

1 Jan

When I was living in Brazil, I’d occasionally peruse the digital pages of UrbanOutfitters.com to see what Stateside trends I was missing out on. Fortunately, I didn’t miss much.

It seems as though all of Hollywood and its fashion followers (life imitating art, or art imitating life?) jumped onto the “cage shoe” bandwagon. Shoes all of a sudden became torturous contraptions that were lattice tanline-creating, blister-inducing, little leather nightmares. To top it all off, we’ve already seen this trend before. It didn’t look good then, and it looks even worse now as we attempt the comeback. Everyone seems to be wearing them, yet no one has noticed the utter terrorist act it commits on the shape of one’s legs. If you want your leg to look like an asymetrical triangle, that’s your business, but in my case, I’d rather they look, you know, normal and not like sausages stuffed into a cowskin meatgrinder. Thanks.

Since the summer, buyers for Urban Outfitters and Piperlime have been trying to continue this trend deep into the frigid air of a New York winter, reminding us that we might need leather lattice work in the cold, too! Because nothing says warmth like a shoe that has a ton of holes in it, right? Lattice heeled sandals transformed into lattice boots, boots with chunks missing, BOOTS WITH OPEN TOES! I was shocked. Had these people lost it? They attempted to redeem themselves by injecting common sense here and there, only to yield even uglier results. Take, for example, the rehashing of the schoolmarm shoe, only in boot form, or what I like to call “The Wallabee Wedge,” a hideous combination of the suede sole soother by Clark’s and, well, a wedge. I could leave you to imagine all these things, but I’ve decided to supply you with pictures just in case your imagination wasn’t strong enough to come up with these monstrosities on its own. Look at your own risk:

the infamous “Wallabee Wedge”

::shudders::

- RetailDJ

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